I am pretty sure they lace Trefoils with Crack

You know those Girls Scouts. Those poor little girls get sucked into a system with a hidden agenda. Get people hooked on cookies. They put these innocent looking girls on street corners wearing nothing but their sashes (with badges of course....show what your good at) to sell cookies laced with drugs. Men come alone and are like, "Well, hmmm, I gotta support the local economy, my wife will like some cookies." So he buys a few boxes unknowingly providing her with a drug that she will then crave beyond control.

Yes, this happened to me. I came home the other day to see the blue box of Trefoils in my pantry. Although in my case seeing as how I am single and living at home (as we have already assessed previously, I am a loser) my mom must have bought them. I closed the pantry door and walked away. Whew, so proud of me! That lasted all of 5 minutes. I went back, was like, I'll have just one. So 7 cookies later I went to bed. I got up the next morning, had 5 for breakfast, and went to work.

You might be thinking at this point that my mistake has already been made.

You would be wrong.

I got home from work and yelled at my mom. Told her that Trefoils must have crack in them because I have eaten half the box in less than 24 hours and I can't stop!!! I was going running (yes, I am still attempting to train for the half-marathon....although at my current cookie eating rate it is not looking good), and I wanted her to get rid of the box while I was gone. Get it out of the house, do something with it, anything, I didn't care, just rid me of my temptation. (Take note, this is where my mistake was made)

So I ran. I came home. I had some dinner. I was watching TV. I needed a snack. I went to the pantry.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOM, WHERE ARE THE COOKIES (there is no swwearing at Pammy's)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????

Mom: I got rid of them. You told me to.

Me: And you took me seriously???? Are you nuts? I need them! Where did you put them? Are they downstairs? In your car? In the gargage? TELL ME!!!

Mom: Jenna, they aren't here. I got rid of them.

Tears, lots of irrational tears. There might have been some convulsing, I'm not sure.

The next day I can think of nothing but cracked out Chris Kattan dressed as a Girl Scout saying "Ya guuuuys want some coookiiiies???" It basically is killing me.

I get to my girls night with my friends, we are sitting chatting when one girl walks in and says that she brought desert for us. OMG, SHE BROUGHT TREFOILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't want to outright look like a total junkie so I think I contained myself well. Only a little twitching.....and 7 cookies.

My friends may think I am crazy, but I got my fix. Those damn pushers....I mean girlscouts.

I wish I was taller, I wish I was a baller...

I wish I was a funny mom blog.

You know the one's. Like http://barefootfoodie.com or http://steammeupkid.blogspot.com/ Now those peeps are funny. I mean, who doesn't want to read about little boys teabagging the cat. Now that shit is funny.

I can't even write about all the stupid shit husbands do (and yes, we all know they are total dumb lazy asses sometimes) or the sweet things the do to make up for it. The stories I have include ridicuously awful and gross men getting my attention by blowing (yes, blowing) on my head while I am at the bar.

Let me tell you how this went. I am casually having a conversation with a friend of mine when I feel a gail force wind hit the back of my head. I turn around to see a shady man saying to me, "Oh, you are just as cute as I thought you would be." I try to be polite and say "Thank you" before turning around and looking totally freaked out. He then proceeds to talk to me and says, "I wanted to get your attention, but I thought interrupting you would be rude." And I say back (not so nicely anymore) "And you thought blowing on me was a better option???" He proceeded to not get the hint for quite a while until help had to step in and save me. (Which that in itself was HISTERICAL because another friend of mine not realizing she was loud because she had a few drink yelled to me---HELP IS ON THE WAY!!!---It was awesome. Well, we thought so, creeper thought it was rude.) Yes, this is what is out there for those who are single. Exciting, isn't it?

So ya, I wish I could be a funny mom blog. I'll think of something. I'm determined =)

Breathe

Its good to hear a voice that you miss...

I have no right to be angry or upset.....but I am lol

I set myself up. Like any girl who wants more than her head is telling her she is going to get, my heart set me up. I fell. And those who know me know that when I met him a couple years ago I fell hard. Did I ever get what I needed from him.....no. But I made excuses because he was leaving and I really did see so much more in him than what I got. It is times like this where I hate myself a little bit for seeing more in people than what might be there. I will not change, it is who I am, but one of these days I want to find someone who has what I see, what I believe they are capable of. I want to not be let down.

Anyway, I won't say that I completly put my life on hold the year he was gone. I dated, casually a couple times and seriously once. But we still spoke often and talked about getting together when he came home all the time. It always seemed like just when I was going to give up because it was just to hard to hold onto, I would hear from him, like some kind of sign that I needed to keep trying because he was thinking of me too. I missed his call once and truthfully, I still have the VM saved on my phone. I don't listen to it, but I can't force myself to delete it. Crazy person, I know. But, as you'll learn, I am not sure that I will ever hear from him again, so I can't find the strength to delete the only sound of his voice I have. Ya, I'm pathetic. Thank GOD I know he doesn't know about this blog and will never see this.

So ya, why do girls put ourselves in situations where we will be hurt. I know we all do it or have done it. In my case I thought having a part of him was better than having none of him. After almost a year together than a year apart I was completly shocked and heartbroken to learn he did not want anything when he got home. Then why did we talk about it all the time? Why bother calling from thousands of miles away? Why bother chatting about.... Oh well, what's done is done. I just wanted to see him. To know he was ok. To know he made it through alright. To know it didn't affect him. Did I get my answers? I don't know. I saw him yes, but do I know what I needed to know......I'm not sure. I don't know if there is more there like I always thought and he is just affected from what he went through, or if there never was anything more to begin with. All I know, is I waited a long time for him to come home and even though people say I should be over him because I have seen him 2 times in a year and a half, I'm not. I'm not because for a year and a half I expected so much more to happen when he got here. Before he left, we spent a lot of time together and I spent months crying when he was gone, but I kept it together with what I thought would happen when he was to come home. Now he's home and there is nothing. So I start the recovery........

???

I had a post yesterday and I went to go look at a comment left and the whole post dissapeared? Weird!! So, now I don't know who commented and my post is gone =( Oh well, I was complaining anyway so I guess it was a sign I shouldn't have put it up in the first place, lol

Slowly I will finish.....

I am determined! It is week 3 of training for the half marathon and I am feeling good. I am scared out of my mind that I won't be able to do it, but I will find a way. I have been running for 3 weeks, I am up to 3 miles and I will do 4 on Saturday. On my off days I am doing a 20 min workout at home that I love. I got it from you-tube, but it is done by this girl I met at a class I went to a few weeks ago. She was great and mentioned I should look it up. It is an 8 week program that changes every week, so it is keeping my muscles interested =)

I am finding a good pace and rythym for me, but I know I am beyond slow. What I have learned though is that other runners are incredibly supportive. It is nice to have random people saying good job when I am excited that I ran 3 miles for the first time in my life. They may do it in half the time I do, but I DID IT, I AM DOING IT =) And people get that, and I love it. So, it is with that encouragement and my crazy stubborness that I know I will find a way to finish 13 miles on race day. I am excited, scared, but crazy excited!

The Mayonnaise Jar.....

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle--When 24 Hours in a day is not enough--Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, without saying a word, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectivelyfilling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - family,children, health, friends, and favorite passions – Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else, the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. So...pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented....

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'



-----Please, I hope that we all remember this. I know I sometimes let the "sand" get in the way of my life and control my days and I am working really hard on not letting that happen. Take the time to breathe and remember what is important. Try to figure out what and who your "golf balls" are and make sure you are putting them into your life first every day. All my love.....