Dramamine vs Raptor

I now know why they call them amusement parks. As a kid, I don't think you quite get all there is to these places. You think it is all about the rides, the games, the water slides.

You are wrong.

As an adult you learn it is about the people watching, the naseaua, the exhaustion, and did I mention the people watching???

OMG people. Its like my group of friends is the only classy people that have ever decided to enter Cedar Point! I mean for real! And yes, I am putting myself in the "classy" category. But it is sad. I don't understand how these people leave the house. First it makes you think, "Wow, I am way better then all the people here! What an ego boost!" Then you start looking around and you think "Wait, EVERYONE here is trashy, I mean EVERYONE. How can I be the only non WT here. That seems weird. Maybe I came on trailor park day and didn't know it. Ya, that must be it. Where are Britney Spears and her kids, they gotta be here somewhere, that will confirm it. Damn, no where to be found. Hmmmmm, ok, wait, now my ego is dropping a little. Am I trashy???? No, that can't be it. What is happening to the world? I am questioning my classiness!!!" And your inner-monologue just keeps going like this for a while. It's rough!

Let's review what I have seen: 300+ lb. women in bikinis; 300+lb. women with no pants over their bikinis dropping stuff in line and bending over....a lot; 15 year olds who think Miley Cyrus is not a whore so they dress like her; 11 year old who do the same; 70 year old women who remind me of the old lady in There's Something About Mary....you know the one, she drinks, and smokes, and lays out in the sun with the aluminum foil; skinny girls who still buy their shorts a size too small and have the stupid roll over that makes us normal size girls want to smack them. And that's just the girls.

It's bad. Amusement Park....yes, I was amused, and disgusted. The 99 degree heat and sweat and stank (yes, it was so bad it was stAnk) didn't help.

Ahhhh, onto the nasuea. I must be getting old because I used to start my day by running to the first line to get a good opening spot. This time I started by making sure I had taken my first dose of dramamine for the day and that I had enough to "reboost" at lunch time. Pathetic. I remember rides like the Raptor being smooth and easy. This time around it kicked my ass. Where before I dreaded waiting in line, I now needed that as my recovery time. Who knew 29 was the age where I began to go downhill.

All that being said, who wants to go to Cedar Point this weekend? I will bring the dramamine if you bring your ability to laugh with me at everyone else there. I mean, after all, we will be the only classy people there =)

My life as told by Kate Voegle

So this story goes on down
The less traveled road
It's a variation on
The one I was told
And although it's not the same
It's awful close, yeah

In an ordinary fairy tale land
There's a promise of a perfect happy end
And I imagine having just short of that
Is better than nothing

So please be my
Forever and almost always
And I'll be fine
Just love me when you can, yeah
And I'll wait patiently
I'll wake up everyday
Just hoping that you still care

In the corner of my mind I know too well
Oh, that surely even I deserve the best
But instead of leaving
I just put the issue to bed
And outta my head

Oh, and just when I believe
You've changed for good
Well, you go and prove me wrong
Just like I knew you would
When I run out of second chances
You give me that look
And you're off the hook

Because you're my
Forever and almost always
Oh, and I'm fine
Just love me when you can
And I'll wait patiently
I'll wake up everyday
Just hoping that you'll still care

Toy Story

Like a rag doll I lay
Waiting to be picked up
Knowing you will hold me
If I only play your game

Sometimes I come to life
Trying to search for my voice
Wanting to say so much
Finding it turns out the same

I want to find a way
To tell you please stay
Please don't shut me out
Please don't let me down
In my little toy story
I get lost in the game
Letting you run around
Letting you put me down

Why is it so hard
Where did I go wrong
Who have I become
When are we going to play

What do you have to say

I need to find a way
To tell you please stay
Please don't shut me out
Please don't let me down
In my little toy story
I get lost in the game
Letting you run around
Letting you put me down
Please don't put me down

Geek Chic

I went to the eye doctor for the first time in 6 years yesterday. I've been a bad patient. Naughty Jenna. (Insert spank here) Anywho, I went, finally.

So, I sit in the chair and look through the first machine and see a pretty picture with a barn as the Dr. explains that he is checking my eye for my far sightedness and my ummmmm astigmatism? "Do you know what that is?" he asks. He says your eye is not round, its kind of bumpy. Great, I have a bumpy eye. I immediatly think of my stomach from last week when it was burned and then I got all sweaty and got water bumps (dont pretend this has never happened to you) and it was all gross and bumpy. Awesome, that is what my eye looks like. Great. And I have been told my eyes are my best feature, so what does that say about the rest of me? Wow, I must be a looker if my bumpy eyes are the best thing I have to offer. Its no wonder I am still single.

So, now all depressed we move on. He asks about my eye drop usage. Like a crack addict I say I use daily. I wake up with itchy eyes people. Well, as it turns out, the drops I use over time will cause the symptoms they are curing and I will have red eyes.

OMG, PERMANENT RED BUMPY EYES!!!!!!! SEXY Y'ALL! Can we say I am a hott piece of a$$!!!

Alright, so I need glasses, shocker. I mean, do I need to wear them all the time to see, no. Should I to be clearer and not strain and get headaches? Yes. So, trying to make myself feel better I am going to get a nice designer pair. Its me, if I have to wear glasses, they are going to say Armani, or Gucci, or Juicy on the side people, lets be honest. So I start looking and I am stressed. Totally overwhelmed. I can't make a decision on where to eat lunch on my own let alone how to spend a couple hundred dollars?!?!?!?!? I call in reinforcements. Friends always help.

I have 2 choices. A classic Juicy metal frame, a little more daily wear. Or a plastic Gucci "Geek Chic" large trendy frame. I hate choices. I am always afraid I am making the wrong one. Always. I let my friend pick. I am happy.

I get home and my family hates the decision. Hates it.

I call, I cancel the order. I ask to hold until I can come back in.

I am starting over and looking more.

I'm never going to decide.

I live my life in limbo because I can't make decisions.

Damn glasses.

And now I am stuck with bumpy eyes, blurred vision, headaches, frustration, no awesome glasses to make me a hott sexy librarian to dress up as. Ya, I was gonna role play. Not sure with whom, but I was gonna make it work for me.

Not sure I can find a way to make the red bumy eyes as sexy.

Damn.

Rainstorms and spooning

I hate the rain.

Ok wait, I shouldn't say that, it can actually be very nice and possibly even sexy....when you aren't alone and terrified.

When alone I resemble a mixture between a frightened toddler and a cat looking for a safe place under the bed to hide from the thunder. I don't like to be alone. Usually I am totally fine being by myself...ok, ok, don't get me wrong, I have reached a point where I would rather have someone else in bed with me at night, its comforting and nice, and I like to lay there and talk (with or without the words as Sugarland says), but I am ok being alone. Until it rains. The first crack of thunder and I reach for my phone and tell someone to come keep me company.

I asked for company. I tried to not be alone. I just wanted to be the little spoon for a few hours.

I spent the night sitting in the middle of my bed clutching my pillow and not sleeping because I was scared.

Sucks.

If Martina McBride can sing about it, then it must be ok

With a broken wing, she carries her dreams, man you oughtta see her fly.

Yes, wings may be broken, but I am actually doing alright. Things are good on the chase. I think I am finding a happy medium between flying to be caught and chasing my own match. It's all about balance.

Where is the love

Don't you love how you wake up somedays and there are those people in your life who although they may not intend to have a way of making you feel like every decision you have made and everything you have done has led up to you being one giant fat messy failure. I need a hug.