I live in Cleveland.
It's the end of October.
It's cold here.
And by cold, I mean I had to thaw out my car for a few minutes before I could pull out of my driveway this morning, and then I drove into work with my scarf wrapped around me.
Should I have stopped to get gas last night when it was 30 degrees warmer, there was some light out, and I was completely awake...yes, but, well, you know how that goes....shoulda, coulda, woulda....didn't.
I instead opted to stop this morning, in the dark, half asleep (still grumpy from being awake all night....whole other story, haha), and in the 33 degree Cleveland weather. Good choice Jenna, good choice.
The two people who might legitimately think it was a good choice are the random men who decided that I looked cold and in need of a hug to warm up.
Really??? Yes people, this did happen. One on my way in to the store reached out for me and I kind of stepped away. The other, I was not so lucky.
I was standing in line, shivering a little, Red Bull in hand (breakfast of champions). My eyes were half shut so I was not completely sure what was happening, and before I knew it I heard, "Oh my, you look cold" and there were arms wrapped around me. It was awkward, and slightly intimidating. This is me we are talking about though, so of course, I just smiled in the nicest way I could (tried not to be rude) and said "Well, it's pretty chilly outside, but I'm good." In my head thinking....hey creepy stranger, back off, I may be small, but I'm like a ninja and I will cut you!
Ok, maybe my thoughts weren't that extreme, he might have been very nice. And, to be honest, in his defense, I have previously stated that running gives me a nice ass and I am wearing good butt jeans today, maybe he just wanted to cop a feal....but really, don't hug people you don't know in the gas station at 7am before they have had caffeine!!!!!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Who you gonna call....GHOSTBUSTERS!
Yep, that's right. It's official. I'm being haunted.
Have you ever seen "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"? Probably not, it wasn't very good despite having Jennifer Garner and Matthew McConaug-HEY. Don't get me wrong, I love me some serious chick flick even when they aren't great, and Emma Stone made a fantastic showing in her rising career....but I'm getting off topic (ADD, I know).
Back to me being haunted. My ghosts are of my dating past. From the insignificant, to the mildly hurtful, to the completely heartbreaking, my ghosts have decided to all re-appear within 24 hours of each other. I will take the blame for only one....of course it is the gut wrenching scariest ghost of all that is my fault.
But really, it is like men have a 6th sense that lets them know when maybe, just maybe I might for 24 hours be handling life on my own and think I can do it without anyone and then they all swarm in and remind me how much at one point I wanted them in my life. So, what do I do to ease the scary moment, to get past the fear of the ghosts lingering in every corner of my brain.....drugs. No, not literally, I am not a crazy person, but I have my drug of choice. It's warm, and cozy, and soft, and it fills me up when I need it. My drug rarely touches my lips like candy, but it still makes my heart race like sugar in my blood. Does it make me crash and burn in withdrawal, yep. But I got my high. I had temporary relief from my ghosts. I wish my drug was more, I've tried, but at this point I will take what I can get because I'm not willing to give it up. I'm too haunted to let go, and see too much good to not want more.
Halloween might be right around the corner, but this girl is going to try and have her ghosts killed by then.
Have you ever seen "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"? Probably not, it wasn't very good despite having Jennifer Garner and Matthew McConaug-HEY. Don't get me wrong, I love me some serious chick flick even when they aren't great, and Emma Stone made a fantastic showing in her rising career....but I'm getting off topic (ADD, I know).
Back to me being haunted. My ghosts are of my dating past. From the insignificant, to the mildly hurtful, to the completely heartbreaking, my ghosts have decided to all re-appear within 24 hours of each other. I will take the blame for only one....of course it is the gut wrenching scariest ghost of all that is my fault.
But really, it is like men have a 6th sense that lets them know when maybe, just maybe I might for 24 hours be handling life on my own and think I can do it without anyone and then they all swarm in and remind me how much at one point I wanted them in my life. So, what do I do to ease the scary moment, to get past the fear of the ghosts lingering in every corner of my brain.....drugs. No, not literally, I am not a crazy person, but I have my drug of choice. It's warm, and cozy, and soft, and it fills me up when I need it. My drug rarely touches my lips like candy, but it still makes my heart race like sugar in my blood. Does it make me crash and burn in withdrawal, yep. But I got my high. I had temporary relief from my ghosts. I wish my drug was more, I've tried, but at this point I will take what I can get because I'm not willing to give it up. I'm too haunted to let go, and see too much good to not want more.
Halloween might be right around the corner, but this girl is going to try and have her ghosts killed by then.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sleep Deprived
It appears as though the more sleep I need the less I am getting. For reasons I am somewhat aware of, and somewhat not admitting to myself I am not sleeping. What am I choosing to do this time....run. Yep. I am not going to mope (well, ok, I probably am, but whatever, don't judge), I am going to run until I am where I need to be. Emotionally, physically, spiritually.....keep running until I get there. Whew, I am gonna love my ass at the end of this (hehe, running gives me a nice butt).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)